well..havent been writing past few days..coz >>>rite...i've been soaking in remorse..i cant sleep properly..cant concentrate properly..its reali disturbign me..i even feel liek i cant be happy anymore..i've been havign nightmares n dreams continuosly too n i hate it..coz..in my dreams i always get da phoen back n when i wake up..its liek snap back to realit..n i'm back to square 1 worrying again..i can feel this deep guilt in my heart..always feel heavy..sigh..i keep thinkign wat to ans hari when he's back..n how i'm gogin to face him..the prob liek looming over my head..i juz cant to forget it..n i reali miss him on top of tat..i dunno how i m gogin to study for my upcoming exams..i cant even tok to him..i dunno if he tried callign even..in my drem i felt liek i was the luckiest gal when i got back my phone..n i even had nightmares of losing my phone..i juz have to werk n give him back the money if not i'll have no peace of mind..i cant even eat liek b4..i think i'll get thinner than b4...sigh..when he left i was so lookign forward to his arrival..now i'm dreading it thinking abt watz gogin to happen..i'm expectign the worst..y does life always have to be like his..wat did i do..i din even steal pple stuff b4..i've even helped return stuff..n tis happens when he's not ard..as if tats not enuff..tis to add on to my probs..i didnt ell anyone other than my sch mates..i dun wan everyone to pity me n think i'm such a careless idiot liek i dun already noe it..i'm tryign to look on the bright side still..its useless............i cant even pray coz of my sis......god i'm sorri..pls stop this ..i don think i can take more..tis is the worst thing tat can eva happen to me n i hope it doesnt happen to anyone.............