parents find out

wat i always wanted to happen juz happened...my parents found out abt hari n me...coz of the picture in my wallet..i was shocked to death when my dad asked whu's the guy..is he the one i wanted to marry n stuff..i was liek so totali! flabberghasted!wat the hell..i wanted to tell him but i dunno ..n dun wan him to think tat i aws so excited abt the issue n blab la..n i wasnt so sure if he was being serious or sacastic..he said that this kinda thigns i muz tok to him..becoz he didnt want pple to see n say that thay saw his daughter wth sum gal..i was reali lost fer werds coz i was still not recovering from the shock..so i kept on irionign all the clothes in my dads cupborad like crasi..'
my mom was in teh room later when she broughtr up the question again so u gonn amarry that guy la ..i was like neva say anythign..then she carried on askign abt the family bla bla bla..wat he's doign and evry minor details...i told her everythign coz i noe hari wld be irritated if i didnt now its all up to them they wldnt let me out n stuff..thx to him..n now he wan me to go to the wedding tellign them..i relai dunno they didn treali show signs of approval they r jzu keepign quiet abt the whoel issue..n now i'm gogin crasi if they r reali ok or not..coz when i asked my mom to tok to him she was liek y shld i ask ur father to go n tok...

well hari's birthday was on fri...n he was tellign me that he was feelign sad n not himself...i felt pity fer him..since he cant even coem home..he muz be feelign worse then i did..he's juz homesick as usual..even if he's home thers nuthgin much to do anyway then to watch tv eat n sleep..mayeb online big deal..he'll soon get tired of it we were tokgin on wat he's going to when he's out of ns..i told him to decide now itself coz time is goign veri fast..he said he wanted to be teacher..well i told him its a veri stressful job n since he cant reali take stress he shldnt go fer it..he sai dhe can cope wth tat kind of stresss n bla bla bla..then i was liek fine do wat u wan juz dun regret..first he ha to do his degree n werk part time or sumthign i wonder wat he goign to do..he didnt wan police coz he said its harder to quit..
the cake cuttign was sorta fun..his sister bought him a cake from swensens..it was a vanilla cream covered ice cream cake wth chocolate icing..wth strawberry chocolate n vannila ice cream blended together wth cake on teh insides..yuummy huh..i enjoyed it!n ther was icing all ard it..wch was so cewl the sister took the dry ice n poped it into the water ther were many smoke coming ou tof it it was kinda cewl..
after that when we all sang the song i cld see tat he felt very happy coz i felt the same way..
i ws happy fer him he got a 100 vocher from metro to shop at that pig!sigh..
he asked me to follow him to metro tis sat..to shop..

hari biirthday

well nuthigns improved much from the last time i told u abt wat happened...yesterday at night i was tokign to him...he's always havign sum problem or another he told me that he played soccer wth he camp fellas n they purposely started a fight tellign tat he was playign roughly when he did not..i was sorry fer him that they were pickign on him mayb he's juz too soft n tats y all this is happenening but doesnt mean he shld change rite...
i'm so glad he's ending this oct..after that i doubt he'll change much coz he been liek this fer two yrs already..hopefuli i'm still hldign my hopes high..if he reali doesnt change much n i cant ake it then i dun hav much chocie..its stupid to carry on wth the relationship..every1 says that the relationship suffers alot during this period but i dunno y it shld affect ours..i mean i'm o cheatign on him or anythign..if i find sum1 to pass my tiem wth i cld have find one long time back..but i enjoy beign wth him..y doesnt he understand tat..i cld give him his space...provided i find another guy rite..
i hope i dunt have to do tat..n i dun even wan anytign to do wth guys if this is how every relationship is goign to be..maybe i shld change over n be bisexual i'll noe how to keep a gal happy..but will they be attracted to me?lol jking!!!...
now i cant possibly move on..especiali tat he bought me to his house n stuff
sumtimes i get teh idea that he's already bored wth me..that i'm always tehr fer him to call ..last time he mised me becoz he cant contact me wheneva i wan i hink i m not gogin to keep a handphone anymore..reason boyfreind dutn call me often n doesnt even reply when i msg but other guys whom i dunt even noe r desperate to tok to me...n go out wth me..i feel ashamed but i feel liek gogin out n tokgin to them..coz i'm sooo lonely...ironic huh i have a bf whu is possibly the best eva but i cant be wth him or he dunt reali wan to be wth me all the time..then y is he still wth me?the onli reason is coz of certain duties...i think now he's taking me for granted...n he doesnt even comment on how i look anymore..its all a big misake i shldnt have done thigns i shdnt have...now i'm bearign the consequences...
the main line is........HE"S BORED WTH ME..although he denies..i juz can feel it..
i think i no more interest or appeal to him...then all this addds up to the saem thign again..we shld juz break up rite?
i dunno how i'm gogin to do that coz many pple noe abt us...i wish he wld think that i deserve som respect n give me sum...
sumtimes i think tat i so damn dumb to give in so many things to him juz becoz i loved him n clingign on to him wch has served to be wrong..i feel so stupid..i dunno wher i m goign to get an ans fer all this..until i do i'll be haunted by this..n cant concentrate on anything...

well..many things happened recently..i juz managed to sign up for maxonline 3000..n get compaq presario for free..still waiting to reach my house..my msn not werking yet so i'm not in contact wth pple yet..onli been on yahoo..friendster n hi5..other than tat things between me n hari r not geting any better..its still liek an on n off thing..but he's a sweet guy..wat he did on my birthday..it was moz enjoyable birthday i had in yrs..he called me over to his house n we cut cake..n his mom fried chicken n fries..after taht we went to southbridge temple wth his family n guess who i saw...vickys father!thk god he didnt see me..n i was so shocked to receiive the necklace n earing in a box..was a lovely set..hari gave me a samuel n keith blouse..was reali nice too..onli it was turtle neck..will be hot but i'll wear it still..if not he'l think that i dunt like it..trust em tats wat he'll think n if i tell him he'll juz tell me the same thing..later we went back to his house n his sis ordered canadian pizza..was damn nice..n they were watching a liverpool n man u match..manu u won of coz..though i dun reali support i muz agree tat teh goalkeeper was pretty gd..after that i went back home n the next day i asked my sis to eat the cake they finished it all up..n wanted sumore!!

sch has started!!

sch has started again and thats one of the reasons i'm back here..most of the time i'm at the lab..n the lessons r pretty boring..n guess wat today fer teh first tiem i got caught for my hair..sigh..n they were making a big commotion abt it..how lame can they get rite?..i eman its not even blonde onli a bit brownish here n there..they they told us to go back immediately n get it dyed me n my fren wati..we were liek yea rite..if we left teh campus..we wont be comgin back till tomorow..n i dint reali wan to miss out on lessons also..so i asked if i cld pin up..after several tokgin here n ther..i finali was allowed into the class after i satisfied my teacehr by tellign tat my fren(hari)has a box of dye..thk god she let me go fer teh class i have no intention of dying my hair still but i guess no more lookign gd in sch..coz i might have to wear gel..n pin up my fringe..sigh..n later thers ports n wellness gr8..i told hari abt it n he said..my hair is too brown... :(..gr8 i dunno y i'''m havign dyed hair inthe first place