well nuthigns improved much from the last time i told u abt wat happened...yesterday at night i was tokign to him...he's always havign sum problem or another he told me that he played soccer wth he camp fellas n they purposely started a fight tellign tat he was playign roughly when he did not..i was sorry fer him that they were pickign on him mayb he's juz too soft n tats y all this is happenening but doesnt mean he shld change rite...
i'm so glad he's ending this oct..after that i doubt he'll change much coz he been liek this fer two yrs already..hopefuli i'm still hldign my hopes high..if he reali doesnt change much n i cant ake it then i dun hav much chocie..its stupid to carry on wth the relationship..every1 says that the relationship suffers alot during this period but i dunno y it shld affect ours..i mean i'm o cheatign on him or anythign..if i find sum1 to pass my tiem wth i cld have find one long time back..but i enjoy beign wth him..y doesnt he understand tat..i cld give him his space...provided i find another guy rite..
i hope i dunt have to do tat..n i dun even wan anytign to do wth guys if this is how every relationship is goign to be..maybe i shld change over n be bisexual i'll noe how to keep a gal happy..but will they be attracted to me?lol jking!!!...
now i cant possibly move on..especiali tat he bought me to his house n stuff
sumtimes i get teh idea that he's already bored wth me..that i'm always tehr fer him to call ..last time he mised me becoz he cant contact me wheneva i wan i hink i m not gogin to keep a handphone anymore..reason boyfreind dutn call me often n doesnt even reply when i msg but other guys whom i dunt even noe r desperate to tok to me...n go out wth me..i feel ashamed but i feel liek gogin out n tokgin to them..coz i'm sooo lonely...ironic huh i have a bf whu is possibly the best eva but i cant be wth him or he dunt reali wan to be wth me all the time..then y is he still wth me?the onli reason is coz of certain duties...i think now he's taking me for granted...n he doesnt even comment on how i look anymore..its all a big misake i shldnt have done thigns i shdnt have...now i'm bearign the consequences...
the main line is........HE"S BORED WTH ME..although he denies..i juz can feel it..
i think i no more interest or appeal to him...then all this addds up to the saem thign again..we shld juz break up rite?
i dunno how i'm gogin to do that coz many pple noe abt us...i wish he wld think that i deserve som respect n give me sum...
sumtimes i think tat i so damn dumb to give in so many things to him juz becoz i loved him n clingign on to him wch has served to be wrong..i feel so stupid..i dunno wher i m goign to get an ans fer all this..until i do i'll be haunted by this..n cant concentrate on anything...
i'm so glad he's ending this oct..after that i doubt he'll change much coz he been liek this fer two yrs already..hopefuli i'm still hldign my hopes high..if he reali doesnt change much n i cant ake it then i dun hav much chocie..its stupid to carry on wth the relationship..every1 says that the relationship suffers alot during this period but i dunno y it shld affect ours..i mean i'm o cheatign on him or anythign..if i find sum1 to pass my tiem wth i cld have find one long time back..but i enjoy beign wth him..y doesnt he understand tat..i cld give him his space...provided i find another guy rite..
i hope i dunt have to do tat..n i dun even wan anytign to do wth guys if this is how every relationship is goign to be..maybe i shld change over n be bisexual i'll noe how to keep a gal happy..but will they be attracted to me?lol jking!!!...
now i cant possibly move on..especiali tat he bought me to his house n stuff
sumtimes i get teh idea that he's already bored wth me..that i'm always tehr fer him to call ..last time he mised me becoz he cant contact me wheneva i wan i hink i m not gogin to keep a handphone anymore..reason boyfreind dutn call me often n doesnt even reply when i msg but other guys whom i dunt even noe r desperate to tok to me...n go out wth me..i feel ashamed but i feel liek gogin out n tokgin to them..coz i'm sooo lonely...ironic huh i have a bf whu is possibly the best eva but i cant be wth him or he dunt reali wan to be wth me all the time..then y is he still wth me?the onli reason is coz of certain duties...i think now he's taking me for granted...n he doesnt even comment on how i look anymore..its all a big misake i shldnt have done thigns i shdnt have...now i'm bearign the consequences...
the main line is........HE"S BORED WTH ME..although he denies..i juz can feel it..
i think i no more interest or appeal to him...then all this addds up to the saem thign again..we shld juz break up rite?
i dunno how i'm gogin to do that coz many pple noe abt us...i wish he wld think that i deserve som respect n give me sum...
sumtimes i think tat i so damn dumb to give in so many things to him juz becoz i loved him n clingign on to him wch has served to be wrong..i feel so stupid..i dunno wher i m goign to get an ans fer all this..until i do i'll be haunted by this..n cant concentrate on anything...
No comments:
Post a Comment