hmm..the chapter wth Jeet is over...i'm think abt it any longer..i the the mind of guys now...they're all idiots.. in the end...noing or whtout noing..well tis dhilip guy whu i was toking to as a fren...he wrote me one freaky long letter...i reali duno wats wth tis guys...i mean he havent even seen me..wad he thinking...sighzz..veri funny la...

This may seem way too long but its relevent. :o) This is probably as straight forward as i will ever be. I mean no harm to anyone nor anything.i don't want to hurt anyone in my life. but others always see fit to hurt me.but still i smile.cos i always had hope that for the goodness that i try to have, will lead me to better things. and it has.but now it seems my happiness is so close but still so far away in the hands of you.but thats life i guess.i honestly wished that i wouldn't get hurt but i am very hurt.i try so hard but i can't.life always seems unfair and maybe it is but one can always draw the best out of it.i like you alot. i mentioned i'd go to any extent that i can humanly to put a smile on your face and i was not kidding.I really see a great joy in making you laugh. sincerely i want to make that my lifes work.if you allow me to.My imaginations of you are so vivid and the girl in those dreams i have,i want it to be you. You are the one i wanna have my arms around. You are the one whose hands and forehead i want to kiss. you are the one who's eyes i want to gaze in to and most of all you are the one i want to fall in unconditional love with someday. People in the past may have hurt you and stuff but i am unlike that...i wouldn't hurt anyone much less you.How can i hurt someone who i can say the above stuff about. i have trully opened my heart up for you for the first time in years and for only the second time in my life.i want this to work coz its for a happy future and to forget a painful past.If all seizes to work out in the end i too will never attempt to love again.i know you are the one for you have inspired me both creatively and faith wise.i can never write poems like the ones i did without trully feeling and meaning what i wrote. Every word here and in those poems ave been written in thoughts of you. I plead to have the chance that others have had and ruined.i once lost all belief in god and i told myself then that only through some sort of realization of her existance, would i reignite my faith. And i now i admit that there is a god. And it is to that god that i pray for your happiness everyday and to that god i offer my presence, for the first time in years, in the temple for nine weeks. Maybe as a show to god, that i really want this and as a show as to how important this is, i will be vegetarian during these nine weeks on friday. you may think i am nuts for doing this for a girl i know for such a brief period of time...but time is no obstacle when you just have awareness...i knew u will be important to you the moment i met you. That is my greatest realisation yet.So here i am as someone who will always treasure you with all my heart and thoughts for your to accept or to throw away. i apologise if i trouble you. and i promise to go away if you trully honestly just say that you dont' want me but i really hope that wont happen.i would never bother you again with mails or files after this one if u want.But all i ask for is a chance. A chance that would seriously mean the world to me. Am willing to lay it all down for this chance.i know this will hurt more that i've ever hurt if you say no to me but i am fully able to accept why you wouldn't want to be with someone like me. The unbearable hurt is something i don't wanna feel but i guess you are the only one who can prevent it...even if you were to stop talking to me tonight and after all this...i will still complete my prayers for you and your well being coz that will eternally be important to me, even more so than my own. What bears down heavy in my mind is also the matter of starhub which i will still do my best to sort out for you...I guess everything pertaining my happiness is in your hands now...Call me after you have read this(probably to tell me how it all won't work out right)... :o) Thank you for reading this blabberings...

i seriously dunno wat to do abt the letter....